A Self-Worth Practice That Changed My Life: Good Morning, I Love You
Written by: Natalie Carruthers, CCC
Have you ever struggled with your self-worth? Do you find that loving yourself is difficult?
If this resonates with you this simple practice may change the way that you feel about yourself and you just might even become your own best friend.
In my work as a counsellor, as well as in my own life, I have found self-compassion to be one of the most beautiful avenues for change. I have noticed that for so many of us our struggles stem from a need to please, compare, and be approved of by others.
Biologically this makes sense- historically our survival has depended on being accepted by our tribes to keep us safe. As human beings it has essentially been engrained in us to ensure we’re not ostracized by the group- so it’s no wonder that being approved of by others can feel like life or death. However this persistent need to please others can unfortunately lead us to forget or disregard one of our most important relationships, ourselves.
I remember while completing my Masters degree, one of my teachers expressed that she loved herself enough that she considered herself to be her own best friend.
I remember feeling somewhat crushed as I could not even fathom that feeling. I had never experienced true self love and the idea of this seemed almost impossible.
I remember thinking how sad is it was that some people would never get to experience that feeling, not realizing that some simple, consistent practices could change this viewpoint exponentially.
I came across a Ted Talk by Dr Shauna Shapiro where she described a simple practice of waking up every morning and saying to yourself “Good morning I love you”.
Dr. Shapiro admits that when she first began implementing this practice into her life she felt nothing and couldn’t quite believe the words she was saying, however after persisting she began to believe it more and more, realizing that “what we practice truly does grow stronger”.
She beautifully describes the research behind how repetition can cause the neural pathways in our brain to allow for greater self-love and compassion.
After watching this video I felt inspired, yet admittedly took me some time to implement this practice into my daily routine. More often then not I would completely forget to show myself this small kindness. It wasn’t exactly something I was used to.
However after a few months I got into the rhythm. It began with notes beside my bed and reminders in my phone and eventually I began to notice my self talk becoming much less negative. I wondered if I maybe even started to really like myself.
Over time I began to notice myself truly believing what I was saying and eventually this like turned to love.
This is not to say that I like myself every minute of every day and that anytime I feel self-doubt all I need to do is snap my fingers, say the words, and all insecurities disappear. What it has done is make me believe that I am truly worthy of love and set me on a path to incorporate even more amazing practices into my life, because I believe that I’m worth the same love and care I gave to others.
This in turn created more beautiful, authentic relationships with those around me.
I realized that loving myself wasn’t selfish, but just the opposite. Loving myself gave room to love those around me on a much deeper level.
For me, this practice has evolved over the years. I now incorporate these beautiful words into my gratitude journal every morning, accompanied by the things I’m grateful for. Other like to write these words on their mirror and look into their eyes while they say it. We are all unique, so make this practice your own and find what fits best for you.
IF you would like to check out the Ted Talk you can find it here: