Is Someone You Love Struggling with Addiction? Therapists Explain the Signs to Watch For
Written by: Gather & Ground Wellness - Vancouver Counselling Clinic
When someone close begins to struggle with addiction, the change is rarely sudden. More often, it unfolds quietly—shifts in behaviour here, small changes in mood there—until the situation becomes hard to ignore. Recognizing the early signs allows families and friends to respond with clarity, compassion, and healthy boundaries.
Addiction is not a character flaw or a moral failure. It is a complex mental health condition that affects thoughts, emotions, and behaviour. Therapists who specialize in addiction often emphasize that support, understanding, and early intervention can make a significant difference. The following signs and tools are designed to help loved ones navigate these difficult moments with confidence and care.
Common Signs That Someone May Be Struggling With Addiction
1. Noticeable Changes in Behaviour
One of the earliest signs is a shift in day-to-day habits. Individuals may become increasingly secretive, avoid conversations about their plans, or suddenly change their routines. Activities and hobbies that used to bring joy may fall to the side. A once-social person may withdraw; a typically quiet person may become irritable or volatile.
Consistency is often replaced by unpredictability. This behavioural shift is rarely intentional—it’s a reflection of the internal struggle the person is experiencing.
2. Declining Physical or Emotional Health
Substance use or addictive behaviours (such as gambling or compulsive online habits) often lead to noticeable physical changes. Unexplained fatigue, sudden weight fluctuations, sleep disturbances, or changes in hygiene can all be indicators. Emotionally, the person may seem increasingly anxious, depressed, or unable to regulate emotions. Mood swings may appear more frequently, often with no clear trigger.
3. Social Withdrawal and Isolation
Addiction thrives in secrecy. Loved ones may begin cancelling plans, distancing themselves from friends, or avoiding family events. This withdrawal is often driven by shame, fear of judgment, or the desire to hide their behaviours.
Isolation can be particularly concerning because it reduces access to support — something essential for recovery.
4. Financial or Legal Difficulties
Addictive behaviours often impact financial stability. There may be frequent borrowing, unexplained expenses, or sudden difficulty paying bills. In more serious cases, consequences may escalate to legal issues from driving under the influence, theft, or other risky behaviours.
Therapists often highlight financial chaos as a major red flag because it reflects deeper loss of control.
5. Increased Tolerance or Signs of Withdrawal
With substance-based addictions, the body builds tolerance over time. The person may need more of the substance to achieve the same effect. Alternatively, they may experience physical withdrawal symptoms such as shaking, sweating, nausea, or agitation when they haven’t used.
These symptoms can be distressing, and they often reinforce the cycle of addiction.
How to Cope When Someone You Love Is Struggling
Recognizing the signs is one part of the journey. The next is understanding how to support both the person and your own wellbeing. Therapists emphasize that caring for someone with addiction can be emotionally taxing, and building a healthy support plan is essential.
1. Set Compassionate yet Clear Boundaries
Boundaries are not punishments; they are tools for maintaining emotional safety. Examples might include choosing not to provide financial support, refusing to lie on someone’s behalf, or limiting time spent together when the person is under the influence.
Clear boundaries communicate: “Your wellbeing matters, and so does mine.”
When enforced consistently, boundaries reduce enabling behaviours and encourage accountability.
2. Avoid Blame and Shame
Shame is one of the strongest forces that keeps addiction alive. Criticism, accusations, and ultimatums often backfire, pushing the person further into isolation. Instead, focus on observations rather than judgments.
Statements such as:
“There’s been a big change in your energy lately.”
“It seems like things have become overwhelming.”
can open a door to conversation without triggering defensiveness.
Approaching the situation with empathy helps preserve connection — something that is vital during difficult moments.
3. Encourage Professional Help
Addiction is a complex condition that can deeply affect mental and physical health. Gently encouraging loved ones to seek support from therapists, addiction counsellors, or doctors can make a meaningful difference.
Offering to assist with finding resources, attending appointments, or researching treatment options can help reduce the overwhelming nature of taking the first step.
However, the motivation to change often needs time. Encouragement works best when it comes without pressure.
4. Build Your Own Support Network
Supporting someone with addiction can bring feelings of fear, frustration, guilt, or helplessness. Therapists strongly recommend that friends and family seek support for themselves.
This might mean:
Attending support groups (such as Al-Anon or SMART Recovery Family & Friends)
Speaking with a counsellor
Leaning on trusted friends or family
Having a safe place to express emotions and gain perspective helps prevent burnout and resentment.
5. Focus on What Can Be Controlled
It’s natural to want to rescue someone you love. Yet one of the hardest truths is that you cannot force change. What can be controlled is how you respond, the boundaries you set, and the compassion you offer.
Shifting the focus from “fixing” to “supporting” reduces emotional pressure and fosters healthier dynamics.
Final Thoughts
Addiction affects far more than the person struggling — it ripples out to family systems, friendships, and communities. Recognizing the signs early allows loved ones to approach the situation with understanding and preparedness. With healthy boundaries, emotional support, and professional guidance, it is possible to navigate this challenging journey with hope and resilience.
If someone you love is struggling, remember: compassion and clarity are some of the most powerful tools you can offer.
Phone: 604-418-8827
Email: hello@gatherandground.ca